Preceding Butterfly
Tomorrow’s my birthday. 24.
It’s a good number. It will be a good year. After tomorrow, there will be no more major dramas between myself and my family until the end of the year. I won’t be able to attend my brother’s birthday because I’ll be down at the snow. And mum’s isn’t until Christmas Eve.
Sunday was good. Intimate group of friends. In fact, it was a group that I’ve never had before. My boyfriend and myself were the only ones who’d been to any others. And I myself don’t count.
Mum told me she was ‘busy’ – too busy to celebrate my own birthday. So tomorrow night we’ll just have a quiet dinner. I’m wondering what I’ll get for my birthday. I’ve got a suspicion it might be clothes or something. Boyfriend went down to the big outlet centre on the weekend for a “secret mission.” Or so he says anyway. It might just be a big red herring. But he’s not sneaky or untrusting enough for that.
I have my DFAT exam this Saturday. A bit nervous. I did the sample test questions and came out with a measly 64%. Meanwhile, the other job that I applied for, they sent me an email yesterday thanking me for applying, and telling me someone will be in touch soon to let me know whether or not I’ve made it to the next stage. Bunch of bureaucratic bullshit if you ask me. Why waste the time and effort? Just send me a letter to let me know whether or not I got in. Thanking me for applying can be done with email. Sheesh. Talk about wasting money on postage and labour hours. =P
What else is new? I’ve becoming an ebay junkie, binging out on cheap specials, like 99cent auctions on ebay for black mineral makeup eyeliner, and $2 sample packs. My best buy has been the $18.95 (incl shipping) miessence mascara. Tested it out last night, and it seems pretty decent. I just have to make enough time to let the things dry. Not sure if they’ll smudge or anything yet. Since the organic stuff isn’t waterproof.
I quit out on yoga today. Just can’t bring myself to be cheered up. I’m always so grumpy after driving to work. I know it’s not my boyfriend’s fault, but I hate doing stuff wrong. I wanted to go through a red light today, because I was in the middle of the road. And he insisted no. He comments when I don’t drive in a straight line, or if I don’t see a car. And they’re good warnings. He means well, and is obviously trying to help. But it just makes me mad. I guess I’m just a bit too much of a perfectionist, and I hate being in situations where I’m not in 100% control. Or at least competent. I always walk away feeling so incompetent.
My manager is giving me my performance review on my birthday tomorrow. Talk about Birthday Presents. *sigh*
Anyhow, I may as well make the most of my lunch break and do some more surfing. It’s too F%$*ing cold to go outside today.
Emerging Butterfly
So tell me, how did it get to May? It’s my birthday next week. I’ve organised a birthday lunch/dinner thing on the weekend. I’m tempted to ask my family to celebrate with me. But I’m not too sure. I know my boyfriend’s got or wants to have plans. And they definitely do not involve family.
I was good and rang mum for Mother’s Day. I even rang her to ask to celebrate with me. But of course, she said no. I feel bad. She has it in her head that I’ve basically cut off all ties. And perhaps I have. But maybe I just don’t like being told I have. Either way, I feel bad that I can’t celebrate with them.
But I don’t think she will volunteer any of her time with me. She will just wait and see if I ring her and ask her to celebrate with me. *sigh *
I think I’ve finally got the hang of the mineral makeup. It took forever to get there, but I wore it the other day, and it seemed to look nice. And I no longer feel as much buyer’s remorse as I did the week before, when I realised I’d spent about $120 on make up brushes and foundation, eyeshadow, blush etc. Meanwhile, I’m back on the organic skin care binge. I still haven’t decided what I want to settle on. And then there’s all these websites offering free international shipping and handling…
Looks like I’ll be living off sample sizes for a little while longer.
Boyfriend tried to be ‘manly’ the other night. Decided to cut up all the twigs that were dying from the bushes that the dog had killed, and test out our fireplace. To cut a long story short, we learnt the hard way that our chimney is blocked. And on top of which, we managed to set off the fire alarm. On a Sunday night. Nice…
Now the house stinks of smoke. Or as a friend told us today, ‘what are you guys cooking? Smoked ham? Fish? It was kinda appetizing in a strange way’
Yeah. Double smoked.
=P
In other news, I’m now the official Community Director for my Rotaract Club. Yaay! I get to organise charities for us to donate money to. And then there’s the annual lawn bowls charity. But at least I’m told we’re always guaranteed $2,000 from a local sponsor. So that’s good.
I’m on a bit of a ebay/retail therapy binge also. Just bought myself some miessence mascara for $19 off ebay. Followed by a set of $2 samples of different coloured mineral makeup – which I won’t be able to pay for until Wednesday. Can you imagine? There’s not even enough money in my account to pay for $2 samples. *sigh*
Work is boring as per usual. I just finished applying for another job, so we’ll see if I can make it. There are opportunities here, they just don’t seem like they’re anywhere in the near future. We have a new manager come in in mid June. This will be my fifth manager in as many years.
Talk about old school.
I had 4 photographs put up this weekend. And yet again I was proven right that my name can be spelt a myriad of ways. Only this time not only did they get creative with my first name, they also got to experiment with my last name as well.
Ah well.
There’s a competition on this week for a ‘sense of los or sadness’. I’ve been digging in my archives all week. Happily printing away. Only to find out I’m only allowed 4 photos. D’oh! So now I have to cull and decide. Fuuuun. Especially in a smoked filled house.
One of these days I’m going to get carbon poisoning. Ha!
We also went by Ikea on the weekend. I really want to make our house a home. Make it all comfy and hospitable. With ‘real’ furniture. There was a bed selling there for $95. I also want a credenza for my study to put all my junk in and make the place look neat and tidy.
I want colour schemes and accessories like vases and sculptures. I want photoframes and prints. I want coloured silk cushions and luxurious Turkish rugs. God, I’ve turned into a homemaker. Haha.
Right, well I think that’s all the catch-up I’ve got to share.
Angst is at a bit of a low these days. If only because I’m trying not to wallow so much and just get on with life.
I’m trying to share some of my excitement in life. Although I admit I’m still dreading my birthday a little. I just know she’s going to say ‘you never invited us or wanted us involved in your birthday.’
*sigh*
