Contracted Butterfly
It's official. I'm an official full-time employee. I've been frothing at the bit for well over a month now waiting for them to finalise all these things. And in some ways I've kinda been grateful for all the delays. Commiting to a company means that no longer am I a 'free agent.' In fact, I am now supposed to be a loyal denizen of the Corporate world. I can no longer hop up and go elsewhere contracting for casual or part time work. I'm here to stay. Or so the theory goes.And it's finally set in stone. Much like a ring of stone around my neck. A milstone. At the same time, after I took the deep breath, plunged in and set pen to paper, I can't stop smiling. It's all done. No more uncertainty.
And the package really isn't all that bad - although I'm told that they've still got me at a deal. And that I deserve a hell of a lot more. Yeh well. Nothing can be done about that now. And anyway, overall, it *is* my first job. And i honestly do not know my full worth. And if this means that I get taken advantage of in the first run - so be it. But I will not be stuck here forever. I've been at this place in this department since I was 19. I don't want to be here five years on, going 'i've been here for practically a decade'. I can do so much better than this. And I will stay here until the day I can be confident in my own abilities, and be able to negotiate for an ideal pay package.
Yes.
When you think about it though, signing a contract and all its responsibilities and implications kind've run parallel to all the rigamorale that you have to deal with in a relationship. Once you 'commit' that's it. You can't go and 'lark around' or whatever. And at the same time, having one person does stop all the uncertainty that comes sometimes with being single. At the same time you can also point to how people (him) are so concerned before they commit to relationships - like real relationships, because they recognise all the responsibilities that come with it (leaving aside the fact that you actually *want* to accept full responsibility because you love the person. but that's another can of worms that we're not going to go into here). Just like I've been fearing signing this contract.
Maybe I just have relationships on the brain. And everything is always the same. Three months ago I was waxing rhapsodic over how a stupid tv program can parallel the rollercoaster in emotional relationships. And now I'm pulling comparisons between work contracts and relationships (we could even argue marriage contracts - if we really wanted to: the irony being that it would work too! =P ).
Anyhow, back to Dashboard Confessional and the last bout of work for the day/week before we hit the weekend. I get my contacts tomorrow. *winks*
Then we'll see who's the prettiest of them all...
posted by Enigmatic Butterfly @ 4:19 pm
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