Irate Butterfly
A few things are irritating me lately. The one foremost on my mind atm, is that I wrote an email to someone who last night was claiming how they wanted us to keep in touch. I know he's interested. I know I'm unavailable. But the excitement of knowing that he's interested made me do something stupid today. And now I'm constantly checking email to see when he will reply. And he's NOT replying. Which makes me feel like an absolute fool. I don't do the cool, calm and collected very well. Somewhere underneath that tough facade is a very fragile person. And when I open up after 2 glasses of wine, well, what do you expect? Anyway, now I wish I'd written a much cooler email, as opposed to the friendly one I'd written earlier. I just feel so stupid.I'm also grumpy at my bf. He's applied for a job that would've been much better suited to me. And I'm angry because 1, that job is mine, and 2, it's in my neighbourhood. I'm just so much better for this than him. He's wasted there, and I have all the contacts. It's not fair. But I really should be reasonable about it> I decided not to change jobs because life at the moment is at a bit of a standstill for me. I want to start a new business. An at home kind of thing. But I can't do that, and start a new job as well. So I decided to stay where I am, while I try to make this baby of mine grow. But that means I have to sacrifice other things, like a job in a neighbourhood I know and will feel passionate enough about. I just feel a bit betrayed I guess, that he would do that to me. If I knew that the job was nothing I could do, that's another thing. But the impression I get is that it's one that I could actually do. Anyway, I'm just being silly and petty.
Nothing new really.
I mean, I even get the vague feeling that I was the one who showed him the job and went, hey, that'd be cool to do. And he took it and went yeah sure. And that's not fair! I don't want to be competing against him. Especially if it's a job that *i* can do. It's hard, since it's obvious he's overqualified. GRRRrrrrrrrr
posted by Enigmatic Butterfly @ 11:40 am
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