Watery Butterfly
“Where are you and I'm so sorryI cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time” (Blink 182 – I Miss You)
I had a strange dream this morning, where we went down south to a famous landmark of two blowholes in the rock along the shore. I dreamt that my family and I went down and watched the water – it was a rough day in the surf. And slowly the water began to rise. My family and I scrambled up the cliffs, as the water kept on rising. It was like it was alive, creeping up and dashing you. At one stage I turned to see all the swimmers who I’d seen down at the beach frolicking, now look at me in fear, telling me there was no point going towards them to avoid the water, or even to save them.
It was like a tsunami, but it wasn’t. It was like the water was playing games with me. And the waves were spectacular. I kept on wanting to take my camera out and capture the shots. The few that I managed to get, I showed my family members, but stopped after a while, hoping to conserve the batteries for later shots.
I remember being dashed up against a wall, with the water coming at me, and trying to put my camera at arm’s length to save it from being drenched and ruining it. And as it happens in dreams, it worked. I was dashed up against the wall from the waves, but my camera made it.
As I wandered away dazed, I looked through my camera lens and it felt like I was following a spirit of sorts. An ethereal presence, flighty and translucent. And I followed it in the hope of capturing a few pictures.
It began to get dark.
In the eventual melee I lost track of my family. When I found them again, everything was over and I found out that my mother had drowned. She hadn’t gotten away in time.
As I wandered back past where I had once run terrified from, I noticed body bags lined up neatly against the park fence. And eventually we got to my mother’s. And I welled up in tears.
Strangely though, as I knelt by her body she somehow came back. Coughing and spluttering, it seemed she’d only been dazed and lost consciousness for a time. It’s strange how dreams can make someone die, and then bring them back to life.
But the dream itself puzzles me. I’m worrying about a lot of things lately. Money. Family. Loss of Time. Absence of down time. Incompetence in driving. There’s a lot on my mind.
Mother’s Day is coming up too, and I have to face that. And then there’s wondering how I’m going to break the news to my brother that we’ve just bought a car.
*sigh*
My boyfriend tells me that I just worry too much. Perhaps. And they’re just manifesting themselves in my dreams. I've been dreaming about my family a lot lately. I just find it strange, dreaming of water as a living entity, indifferent and malicious at the same time, rising up metres and metres to take over people’s lives. Randomly coming in from all sides, dashing itself up against walls and buildings. Creeping up and then retracting.
And even after everything was over, when I was leaving the area, looking back on a much calmer sea, suddenly it felt like the water was rising again.
And strangely enough, the water was always clear.
posted by Enigmatic Butterfly @ 9:42 am
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