Messy Butterfly
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us...' So goes the old prayer. Yet it's debatable how many of us really are so generous towards others. By and large, we are not very good at forgiving people. We are, though, a little too good at forgiving ourselves. We don't need to swing to the other extreme and be constantly beating ourselves up about some mistake we have made. But we all ought to remember that none of us is perfect. Don't waste this weekend regretting the past or resenting the present.
Easier said than done, but.
My head's all a mess. Full of regrets and "I wish"s' and "If only"s.
This is going to be hard. This is going to be difficult.
There's no easy way out. And there's a high chance she'll disown me.
How many mothers tell their daughters that they hate them. And the dirty look she gave me yesterday at my brother's graduation...
I walked away so depressed yesterday afternoon.
My brother's got my camera, so I'm back to sketching to ease the tension and try and relax. I haven't picked up a pencil for drawing purposes in over a year, if not more. I've always found drawing and colouring very therapeutic. I remember at one stage musing to myself, if I could do any job in the world and not care about pay, status or social standing, I'd be a painter. You know, those people who paint walls and buildings. It'd be so relaxing and carefree. No worries. Just get in there and paint. And at the end of the day, feel a sense of accomplishment that you achieved something.
Achievement...
It all just feels so glum right now.
Is it too babyish to wish that I could have my mother back?
I miss the golden days.
Attending my brother's graduation,
I was reminded of a time when time seemed golden.
When the world sat at my feet, and I could do no wrong.
Today is not that day.
Today is gloomy and glum and steely grey.
~ *~ * ~ * ~
Everybody seems so happy like they all
share something I haven't felt for years.
For long I've tried to just hold on but now
I don't care
I'm closing down my thoughts and fears.
Forgive me, life is cruel.
I'm leaving you.
Hear you little brother me,
you know I'm sorry,
for every high hand.
Give my love to mother,
please
tell her not to worry.
I hope she'll understand.
So long, don't wait for me in vain.
What's wrong with being free from pain?
Be strong and live your lives like I never could.
Farewell, let the memories be nice.
To hell!? Don't think you go there twice.
I'm well off right here, it's more than good.
So Farewell...
Millencolin ~ Farewell My Hell
posted by Enigmatic Butterfly @ 12:17 pm
1 Comments:
*sigh*
I wish anonymous would stop spamming. If this keeps up, I'm going to have to disable anonymous comments.
The anonymous comments was not meant for the likes of you.
Don't abuse the system and make others suffer for it.
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