Baulking Butterfly
I'm tired. I'm unmotivated.But even more importantly - I don't want to go home.
It's my brother's 18th birthday tonight, and I'm dreading it. I've never been in a situation where I've dreaded going to a family celebration. But suddenly it seems much easier to just stay with the boyfriend.
Mum was in one of her childish moods last night when I went home after spending the weekend with my boyfriend.
When she drives me to work in the morning, there's nothing to say. No talk, no chit chat. I had to find out all the birthday plans from my brother. I just suddenly don't want to go. And if this continues, I may well move out, because it will seem stupid to stay there. But as I watched my mother's back as she walked out of the living room last night I found me reminding myself to wait it out. "It takes time." Or so my cousin once said to me.
I think I finally made the decision on the weekend, that I will in fact, move in with my boyfriend sometime next year.
I don't know if it's the smartest decision I could make. I don't know if I'm truly ready for it. But waking up in a sunlit room with white walls in a bed with white sheets and a warm quilt, I could suddenly picture waking up every morning like that. And it felt nice. I think he was pleasantly surprised at me mentioning wanting to move in with him.
Is it just me being scared and wanting to run away again? Or was it a genuine desire to be with him every morning like that? Because I've never felt that feeling before. Not at his place, at his previous place, or even when we went on a short trip to the vineyards. It was just Sunday morning.
I don't want to go home.
posted by Enigmatic Butterfly @ 4:53 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home