Friday, June 10, 2005

Momentary Butterfly

For about an hour or two last night, I felt the happiest I've been in a long time. I'm happy. Truly happy.

"You won't have to worry about anything. All you'll need to do is relax."

I love my boyfriend.

An indulgent long weekend in the tropics. Where work, family and all the horrors of late will not reach me. I can't wait.

More importantly I went to the doctor's last night. Everything is fine. I was so scared of complications. He was right. The last few weeks will all soon be a bad dream. Bad memories. No more.

We are made up of the sum of our experiences. If this is what it took to get here, then I accept. I told mum in one of our fights that I will never regret going out with my boyfriend, and making the decisions I made. I still stand by that. No matter the pain, right now it feels like it's all been worth it.

I feel so lucky to have a man who loves me so much. It feels wonderful to have my love reciprocated. Especially when often I am reminded that his love for me far exceeds mine for him. Suddenly it feels like I can breath. And I know in my heart of hearts the most important thing is that I cherish these moments for as long as they last. They come few and far in between. And so often not enough.

Today's forecast:

After every earthquake, there's always an aftershock. These never measure as much on the Richter Scale yet they produce further tension. They shake everything up just as it is starting to settle. They provide a vivid reminder of recent stress. They cause people to wonder if it is all happening over again. What they actually do is complete the process. If something has been loosened but not fully shifted, the secondary wave takes care of it. Don't fear this weekend's eruption.

Great........... you know, sometimes I wonder why I bother reading my horoscope. All it seems to do is tell me bad news. You mean like, there's more to come? Happiness really does come few and far between eh?

*woeful sigh*

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