Faithful Butterfly
"Long shot I know.. But might you be interested in lunch? I'm about to head in, I've got an interview at 2.30"
"Will we have anything to talk about?"
"I'll even let you pick whatever you want to talk about. I'm willing to find things to talk about if need be, but I think we can manage"
"why thank you for your permission. What time were you planning to get in by? I brought my own lunch today."
"I hope before one. I didn't mean for that message to sound like me giving permission, sorry"
"Probably not. I have a report deadline today and I'm too tired to make polite conversation"
"Ok then. Sorry again. For, well... Everything. Just one extremly large sorry"
Yeh, whatever.
Two hours later:
"If you change your mind and want to say hi, even for five minutes, I'll be in the park next to the station for a while"
No thank you.
Don't want to get back into that state of mind where I sit and wait for him to make his move. I'm tired of all the inconsistencies, the insecurity and the arrogance.
I thought for a little while about meeting him. It would be interesting to see where the dynamics lie between us. But I think it was an honest statement - I'm too tired to make polite conversation. If I still don't want any contact with him online, why would I want to meet him in person? What would that achieve? Nothing.
I have a boyfriend already. Someone who loves and adores me. Why should I jeopardise that - if in fact that is possible - by meeting an ex? By opening the door to being potentially tempted again by things that just aren't good for me?
Hopefully, if anything this little episode will just make me want my boyfriend more.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
We drive tonight,
And you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
Like we've known each other forever.
The time flies by,
With the sound of your voice.
Its close to paradise,
With the end surely near.
And if I could only stop the car
And hold onto you,
And never let go (and never let go)
I'll never let go (I'll never let go)
As we round the corner
To your house
You turned to me and said,
"I'll be going through withdrawl of you
For this one night we have spent."
And, I want to speak these words
But I guess I'll just bite my tongue,
And accept "someday, somehow"
As the words that we'll hang from.
And I (I..), I don't want to speak these words.
Cause I (cause I..), I don't want to make things any worse.
And I (I..), I don't want to speak these words.
Cause I (cause I..), I don't want to make things any worse.
Why does tonight, have to end?
Why don't we hit restart,
And pause it at our favorite parts.
We'll skip the goodbyes.
If I had it my way,
I'd turn the car around and runaway,
Just you and I.
And I (I..), I don't want to speak these words.
Cause I (cause I..), I don't want to make things any worse.
And I (I..), I don't want to speak these words
Cause I, I don't want to make things
And I, I don't want to make things any worse
Matchbook Romance - Tiger Lily
posted by Enigmatic Butterfly @ 12:37 pm
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