Thursday, April 14, 2005

Lighter Butterfly

I've been in a moody pit the last two, three days. The sun decided to shine on me this morning though and I feel a lot better. Things seem to be looking up. Don't really know what I'm doing writing all this up when I don't even feel anything pressing right now. Not in the mood to rehash my life for the past week. Not really wanting to disclose or elaborate. No exposition.

Just feel a little lighter. And wanted to share.

The world looks a little clearer, the sky a little brighter. And I'm going out to dinner with his friends tomorrow night. Some farewell party of sorts.

*shrug*.
Whatever.

I wrote up a whole bunch of stuff last night all introspective and self-depracating. The selfish moody stuff that questions my own existence and fights against the world. Not really in the mood to retype it up here. Because for once I'm in a good mood and don't want to relapse. Suffice to say that I was on the verge of tears for most of the day at work yesterday. I hate feeling volatile, where anything that anyone says has the potential to throw me off kilter and run back to the comfort and safety of my rock.

I can't wait till ANZAC Day. My cousin's coming from overseas, I graduate from Honours, I take a well deserved break - one week of annual leave, I go on 'holiday' of sorts. Planning to visit vineyards and lots of scenic tours with boyfriend and cousin in tow. I can't wait.

Guess I'm just all stressed out, mentally and physically exhausted. Least the light's shining ever so faintly. And I'm feeling better..

The burdens just keep on mounting. Most of them most likely self-inflicted. But like I said, not really in the mood to be introspective, dark and brooding today. I need a break from life on the high seas. I need a holiday.

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