Sunday, January 09, 2005

Sneaky Butterfly

I have been sneaky today. Blocked him the other night and for once I held back the temptation to unblock him when he went online. I ended up smsing him for a little while last night. I needed advice on a non-relationship thing and wanted his opinion. Apparently he had a migraine. But at least he gave me the advice I needed.

Anyhow this has been a very painful weekend. I took work home to finish this stupid report. It's all done now. Well, not all done. But I don't care anymore. =P Yeh, great analyst I turned out to be. ha!

It's so weird though. I finished uni so I would never have to feel the pressures of procrastination and burdens of deadlines ever again. And here I was this weekend moping around the house because I didn't want to finish the report. And it wasn't even a difficult report. I just... didn't want to do it. Go figure.

Who'da thunk it?

=P

Anyhow so I spent an entire day 'him-free'. I dunno if I can do that for the next few days. But it will be interesting nonetheless. I knew that he would be online tonight. He knew that I knew (he told me last night). And my absence may or may not say anything. Either way I think I should stick to the adage: 'if you really want to see/talk/contact me, you'll do something'. i.e. my mobile is available if you want to sms me, since you're such a sms junkie. If you want to see me, you will. I won't need to lift a finger. And if not, well, *shrug*. I'm tired of having to constantly wait around on you. I'm tired of having to do all the work. So from now on I refuse. =P I may well still cave in tomorrow and come online. But hopefully these cravings will pass. If we are to just 'be friends' and nothing more, well this is my first step in that direction. I don't think you will be either happy or unhappy about it. You, being the rational cold you, will just take it in your stride and say, 'I understand' or something to that effect and leave it be. Sometimes I think/feel that emotions are beyond you. You are a hard one to figure out.

If you feel that we still need to have a talk to sort things out you know where to find me.

Otherwise, I think it's about time I moved on with my life. Here's to more fish to fry. And hopefully, less reports to take home. =S

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