Eventful Butterfly
you're not online tonight. Or maybe just not online yet. I want to talk to you. I have plans for the week. Your request about friday is filled up. But you are still welcome to spend it with me and my friend. You probably will turn it down though because you have never once said yes to having dinner with me and my friends. Even for my birthday party. Guess I should take the hint huh?Lots of stuff happened today/this evening.
One of the guys at work is shouting me an opera ticket. I haven't figured out if he's just buying me the ticket, or if both of us are going together. I want to tell him.
I finally got myself a filing cabinet. we put it together tonight. My hands are sore. manually screwing those screws is hard work... or my hands are just too lily soft. =P
I'm going out to buy new shoes tomorrow so i'll be busy. and this weekend will be tied up with overtime. he'll be busy on saturday night with a family commitment. so at least i'll be safe to go online then.
i went out to lunch this afternoon and came across this book that was titled, 'how to deal with breakups'. it only cost $3. I sat there and read most of it and came away feeling a lot better. i would've bought the book except i didn't want the cashier judging me, and i would have no reason to explain why it was sitting on my bookshelf in the first place. although $3 is a good buy. if i wait long enough i might convince myself to buy the damn thing anyway. hide it in a bunch of semi-intelligent books or fantasy novels or something.
i crashed into the guy that i work with at the train station this afternoon. he commented that i looked upset or whatever, and it was a great way to keep people away from me on the platform. i don't know what to make of him to be honest. he's generally a nice guy. i wonder if it says anything when they continually steal food from you. and this whole opera deal... i'm assuming we're going together. he originally told me he was going into withdrawls after not going to them for like 4 years. and it's silly to shout me a ticket and not go. because that would mean i'd only have 1 ticket. you can't expect a guy to pay for you and a friend. so it's really strange. we'll be working together on the weekend. it will be interesting.
i'm having lunch with a friend tomorrow. so that will keep me occupied for a little while at least.
i wish you would contact me.
the book that i was reading this afternoon pointed out a lot of things that i have already thought about. and continuously told myself. so by the end of a horrid morning, i came back to work feeling fairly happy that i was on the right track to recovery.
the thing to remember is that if you want me, you will come. i won't need to do anything. just like that monday night when you missed me enough to request my presence online. and not once did you mention about you being bored. if anything the implication was that i was bored enough to come online and spend it with you. i wnat more of that.
the book also pointed out that even if i have contact with him, will it achieve anything? will he immediately break down and declare his undying love? if not, then what's the point of putting yourself through this limbo all over again? very valid point.
i ended up picking up an astrology forecast book for him today. yeh, i'm still raw because it was talking about him meeting new people at work, and falling for them around may. yeh, i don't need to read/hear about stuff like that.
i wish you would come online so i could be satisfied in knowing that you were online and didn't see me there. then i can go to sleep content. and i am tired.
*checks msn*
this is just depressing. everyone who was online has just disappeared.
gah.
it must be a slow internet day.
i hope you're thinking about me.
and i hope that i can get over all of this. to more eventful and exciting days so that i no longer have to think about you.
if you really want me, you will come.
posted by Enigmatic Butterfly @ 10:53 pm
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