Festi-fying Butterfly
I'm going out tonight. It's mum's birthday. It's *her* birthday and I'm organising the evening to do things that *i* like. We're going out to dinner, and then gatecrashing some carols by the harbour, followed by checking out the Christmas lights in the city, before getting around to going to mass at midnight.It's also his birthday today. He seemed pretty pleased with his Birthday present on Tuesday. I wanted to hear the words, 'this is the best present I've ever had' or something to that effect, but no go. Oh well.
I was chatting to him online last night. I left before midnight. I figured I'd done enough to celebrate his birthday, and anyway, I was feeling really sleepy. I ended up msging him this morning to wish him officially 'happy birthday'. Anything more, and that'll be going overboard. There are limits to making friends feel special on their birthdays. He's not that close for me to go into stalker-mode. Even I can feel myself mentally cringing at the thought at making any more of a big deal about this. ugh.
I got him 3 presents, I got him a birthday card, i wished him an early birthday greeting last night, and I msged him this morning. Enough, ya? It's a hell of a lot more than he ever did for me. He turned down my invitation to my birthday party. He ended up not getting me a gift because at the time we were negotiating where we were standing and i felt bad for him to fork out money for me, when it was obvious that i was staying with my then boyfriend. He also had promised to have lunch with me to make up for cancelling on my birthday. Yeh, still waiting. Although, we did end up talking on the phone the eve of my birthday so that he was the very first to wish me happy birthday, and from memory i think he was also the last to wish me happy birthday. he did email me as well as msg me a birthday greeting also. Anyway, my three gifts make up for anything that I'm lacking.
Yeh, whatever.
I hope tonight won't be cold. I'm planning on wearing a thin pretty black skirt. and my jacket really doesn't go with the outfit. Although the weather doesn't exactly look promising. THey're forecasting rain. 29-32 today most likely due to high humidity. The overcast clouds don't make it any more reassuring either. I'm looking out at the windows from work, and yeh, it's like a grey pea soup sky. This weather is just crazy.
I guess I should get around to doing some work today. It's Christmas Eve. Chances are people will all take half-days off. I'm wondering if I can do that also... *wicked grin* although what i'm going to do for four hours dressed to the nines in the city at midday is beyond me...
I have been thinking a lot more on the situation, but I'll probably post it up later. Let it mull again until it's battering against my head to be let out. It's not so much that I can't type it out right now, but I just don't feel like it. or whatever... blah.
song of the moment is Grinspoon. Not so much because I echo their sentiments, but more because the song gives me some food for thought. the lyrics are most probably to be deleted and pasted onto tomorrow's post or later in the sidebar. but for now, these lyrics give me pause and makes me question where i currently stand - tell me, *am* i better off alone? has it all come down to this in the end?
I never gave a reason
Of why I didnt call
And now I've grown so tired
Of lying to myself
It can not go unsaid
I regret what they know
Don't think it's all been a waste of time
Are you better off alone?
Stop lying to yourself
I regret what was said
I deny what they know
Are you better off alone?
And those that we admired
All stood their grounds and cried
I didn't start the fire
I just tried to see your eyes
It can not go unsaid
I only want you to know
I think its all going to work out fine
Are we better off alone?
(Are you better off alone?)
Than lying to ourselves
(Than lying to ourselves)
Who cares what they said
Who cares what they know
Are we better off alone?
I know, that my love I'll send
Could we still be friends? But this is the end
I think its all going to work out fine
We're better off alone
(Are you better off alone?)
Than lying to ourselves
(Than lying to ourselves)
I don't care what you said
I don't care what I know
Don't say its all been a waste of time
Are You better off alone
(Send my love)
Stop lying to your self
(Send my love)
It can not go unsaid
(Send my love to you)
I only want you to know
It can not go unsaid
I only want you to know
I think its all going to work out fine
Grinspoon - Better Off Alone
posted by Enigmatic Butterfly @ 9:28 am
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