Honest Butterfly
Ok I’ll be the first to admit it. Part of the excitement and desire of going out to the city for cd shopping was because I would be visiting all his haunts – and by extension our old haunts. I don’t know why I choose to deceive myself. I will be honest that I am trying to tempt fate a bit. I trekked across the same old stores a dozen or more times today. Cd store, book store, cd store, food court after food court in the search for decent cheap edible food, going continually past particular stores, walking past specific paths.It’s not that I’m not over him – I am. I just can’t seem to help wanting to tempt fate. Not that I’m not discontented. I am as content as a girl can be after completing four years of tertiary studies and officially working guilt-free. Or as my mother terms it, I’ve ‘come out’.
I bought a bunch of cds. Not all great finds, but somehow I found myself dishing out the money regardless. I’m thinking of going out again tomorrow. I’m still deciding. I’m lacking in sleep. I think I just need to keep busy and occupied in order to give myself a sense of purpose. An illusion that I now have a life. My high school friend has postponed our got together lunch until Sunday afternoon. So back in the cit I will go. I am very excited. It will be my first ‘outing’ as a true ‘adult’ with my little posse of girlfriends. As I’ve said before, so it goes, the beginning of ‘the rest of my life.’ It’s something that I’ve been looking forward to it since I was a little girl. The day when I got to start living the life that I was constantly inundated by movies and tv. Working, going out, being free and independent, having fun guilt-free. My academic career is over. I may later on decide to go back and complete a masters or a phd, but for now, the honours degree will do me fine methinks.
posted by Enigmatic Butterfly @ 2:41 am
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