Overwhelmed Butterfly
Exhausted seems to be the only way to describe my physical and mental health these days. I'm doing all the administration stuff for my thesis right now, and all I want to do is curl into a little ball and sleep like the dead.I had to go down to uni today to see my supervisor. I don't know what to make of it all, to be honest. I really have stopped making opinions over my thesis and my supervisor. All I care about is getting this thing done. Right now i'm entering references into a database. And I am again overwhelemed by the amount of work I need to get done.
I also spent the evening chasing people down. If there ever was a time when I wished I had more 'intelligent' friends, it was this evening. *rueful smile* I needed someone to proofread my thesis. Except it's hard to find someone when you need it back within 24 hours. Luckily, one of the girls who started out doing the thesis with me at the beginning of the year gave me an affirmative (she dropped out early in the year, because she didn't feel she was devoted enough). I now have another excuse to go out this week. I'm going to treat her to lunch as thanks. I so owe her.
It got so desperate earlier in the evening that I ended up emailing work, and call in the favour one of my work colleagues (now new boss) offered at the beginning of the year to proof read my thesis when i needed it. I'd paste the email up here, except that I deleted it already =( I know, how silly. However, i still remember the salutation: O Great and Glorious One, Who Is Worthy and Ever Powerful, .. or something to that extent. It's basically a plea for help. He'll laugh for sure. It's worded in such a way that it's pretty dramatic and desperate. But I also put in a clause of, 'i'd be eternally grateful, and yeh.' which basically means he could call me on it anytime. I was tempted to write in that email that I was willing to take a pay cut if he would take a look at my thesis for me. But i think that would've been taking it to a bit extreme. so yeh... ha!
My boss is a really nice guy. Lots of fun and jokes around (always a plus). But like most people, I never can tell where I really stand with him and all the other people i work with. The one girl that I got along with *really* well, is now living the high life in the Czech Republic. She's like the epitome of everything I want to be one day. She's so smart she actually got a double first class honours (!!) go figure!. Like, she did a double honours degree, and got top marks in both of them. Talk about smart... But yeh, she's currently gone overseas to work at this company which is sort've like the things I do at work, except that it's way cooler. And she gets to live in Europe. She's taken extended leave from the company, so if her thing in the Czech Republic falls through, she's always welcome back here. I envy her. I wish I could be as successful and adventurous as her.
One day. One day I will be her. I will travel, and work overseas, and I will get a plum job. Some place where I get to live the sophisticate life that I've always dreamed and wanted. Free of family shackles and financial burdens. Free of useless people, and filled with true friends. And i will live the high life. One day.
Back to the present though. There's so much to do. Not only do i have to put in all my references (and there's a LOT), but I also have to spellcheck my newspaper database (which has a LOT of references). It doesn't help that I also have to do all my footnotes (which there are a LOT), and the current system i'm using is one that i've never used before. I'm used to doing harvard in-text referencing. But this thesis requires me to do footnoting. so like, little numbers up top, and reference lists below. What makes it worse, is my lecturer emailed us this afternoon, and I swear, I'm ready to stick a red hot iron poker through this guy's eye.
The word limit for the thesis is 15,000 words, and my lecturer just wrote a letter for our markers stating explicitly that the thesis, including footnotes AND appendices is supposed to be 15,000 words. (!!!!) I MEAN, HONESTLY, ARE YOU LIKE, *INSANE*?!?!?!? I thought the whole point of footnotes was that you DIDN'T include them in word count. And how the hell am i supposed to deal with my newspaper database now huh? huh? HUH??!?! *pushes lecturer into chair* My database is like HUGE. I'm currently at 13,000 words in my thesis. But like, I will so go over that word count, once i include footnotes and appendices. It is like, SO unfair. SO SO SO SO SO UNFAIR.
I remember now why i never picked this lecturer as my supervisor. He always did rub me the wrong way. As a guy, he's fine to be around. But as an academic superior, his methods absolutely SUCK. I'd pick my supervisor any day. Oh, wait, I already have! LOL.
Hrmm, i think I'm going to take a shower, and go back and try and continue the referencing. I've got a bad feeling that it's going to be a long night. Be ready for lots of little updates all night long. (yaay!)
Mantra to self: I *CAN* DO THIS! I *CAN* DO THIS!
Wish me luck to impress the socks off of my markers.
*begs* *please* give me a good mark. *preetty* *pwwetty* *PLEASE!!!!!*
posted by Enigmatic Butterfly @ 9:21 pm
2 Comments:
It's too bad im not your lecturer/supervisor/marker... i would have given you a good score for your effort... ;p
But enough of the redundant humouring and just give it all you've got... *my fingers are crossed for you*
i wish for the high life too... but it doesn't seem to like me very much... ^_^
I admit I have worked hard lately. A lot more than I have in a long time. But I wish I had started sooner. I wish that boys and their confused feelings hadn't gotten in the way of me going after 'the gold' so to speak.
Oh well, what is it they say? If regrets were... i forget the rest of the phrase. Either way, what's done is done, right? I guess...
I just hate having to disappoint my supervisor the way I have. I noticed that he was trying to make the most of the little I have. I so appreciate the kindness. But I also wish that he'd be straight with me. Under times of stress, I can take criticism a lot more than usual. Go figure. There was a time earlier in the year, when every comment he'd make, I'd go away wanting to cry. Right now? I don't care what he says. I just take everything on board and fix/change it.
I can't help but wonder what the other students are going through though. I think everyone works so hard at the end. I have no clue how they even go about marking us. I so want to beat the Boy though. LOL. Just to prove once and for all, that I'm better than him.
*wicked laugh*
Post a Comment
<< Home