Attached Butterfly
I am not required to write on this blog everyday. I have no 'true' reading public that waits with baited breath for every blog that i write. But it suddenly seems like I feel obligated to write. It's a strange phenomena. When I used to keep a diary, I would feel the need to write in it all the time. Writing things out seem to validate the day for me.And I think I need some validating. Today all passed by in a blur. And right now I have that niggling feeling that comes with the idea that i "SHOULD" have done that.... What am i talking about? I'm talking about my thesis. I printed and bound 4 copies, and I came away with nothing. I should've printed nad bound one more copy for myself to take home with me so that I can hug it all night long. But now I have to wait until next wednesday. because I won't go back into uni until next wednesday, and free laser printing for 77 pages does not come cheap. I have to pay for the binding, but who's honestly complaining?
You should see the thesis though. It looks so professional. *drool* the only thing i have against it, is because the strip binding thing is black, and i have big black letters on it, it looks boring, in a funeralish way. black and white. so plain. But it's a better looking titled page than some of the crap i saw. trust me. boring capital 12 point times new roman. bah... get some imagination people! i don't care how clever your title is. what's the point if you can't make me read it? least with 48pt (even if it is times new roman) at least you'll read my title whether you like it or not, even if it is a bit too straight forward.
Honestly though, so many things have happened in the last few days. I've been burning on the midnight train, and I haven't been able to get off. It's like that feeling you get when you go to the beach, and you come home, and you still get that feeling of walking through the water. I'm sort've floating around. I don't think I've really gotten off the thesis train yet. It's so bizarre. and not having a hard bound copy of my thesis in my hands only seems to emphasize that.
Can you believe it??? It's all over.
By the way, i think he went into uni yesterday. I never saw him. I certainly didn't see him today. But i was too busy to really care.
I find I also harbour mixed feelings for my supervisor. Don't ask me what. I'm too tired and confused to feel or analyse anything yet.
I tried to get some sleep last night, and I ended up listening to an entire sarah mclachlan cd without sleeping. it was horrible.
y'know, i'm probably not even making any sense in this blog. It's all just random thoughts from everywhere. I think i'm mentally and in some form, physically, exhausted. Yet I still find myself attached to the idea that I have to write it all out. I won't feel release until I do. Yet i can't be bothered recapping my life right now. I think it's all still too raw.
posted by Enigmatic Butterfly @ 8:49 pm
2 Comments:
Don't worry too much about it...
The fullness of the realisation that it is all over won't hit you so soon... it takes a while... can't be helped...
it's not just that though. it's actually more about stuff that happened yesterday. I'll probably blog about it in a few days time when i feel like i can face up to myself. for now, just let me put it this way: i settled.
Post a Comment
<< Home